John Mulaney Quotes

John Mulaney is a renowned writer with a positive reputation. He not only works as a Saturday Night Live writer but also a comedy specialist. Mr. Mulaney is highly acknowledged for the fun he makes on most of his shows and appearances. This makes him get ranked among the top-notch comedians and writers. Below are some of the best John Mulaney quotes that will make your day. Keep scrolling to learn more.

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1. “Could be a nursery.”

John Mulaney has what it takes to prove to his audience that he is captivating and hilarious. He creates this joke and tries to explain the experience he encountered with his wife concerning their real estate project. He describes how his wife, with a bubbly attitude, attempted to sell an old house so expensively.

He also explains how after couples get married, what comes into their mind is getting children, and eventually, they will have kids. Mulaney tries to explain the myth that a relationship isn’t complete without children in a funny way.

2. “You remember being 12 when you’re like, ‘no one look at me or I’ll kill myself”

Through this funny quote, John Mulaney manages to win the attention of adolescents. He explains the challenge several adolescents at the age of 12 faced. The adolescent stage was no joke, and, on most occasions, one would feel judged and denied certain privileges. Mulaney also explains embarrassment as another challenge encountered by adolescents.

3. “I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die”

This quote may somewhat sound funny but is enough to make you feel called out. He uses the quote to explain the Irish’s ancestry and how its people conceal their feelings and find it hard to share with people outside their lives. Mr. Mulaney condemns this behavior.

4. “Just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting.”

Through hilarious tales, John Mulaney has managed to share words of wisdom with his audience. He gives an example of a child who is deep in slumber, and when it awakes from sleep past midnight, it asks whether “tomorrow is now.” He emphasizes that to be interesting; you do not have to be accurate in what you say. He says that you do not have to be right at all times. Similarly, he adds that it’s also annoying to be so much literal and overconcerned.

5. “I was in Connecticut recently doing white people stuff…”

This quote by Mulaney refers to matters of social justice. Mulaney hilariously discusses this subject. John is quite conversant with his privileges and uses this to create a joke that leaves his audience cry with laughter.

6. “I’m like an iPhone.”

Mulaney explains how fun it is in college and at the age of 20s. However, when one starts aging and realizing that time is moving and age is not constant, they begin to worry. He uses this quote, “I’m like an iPhone,” to relate to the challenges faced by several youths who are now getting into the adulthood stage.

7. “And then he ordered one black coffee for himself and kept driving”

On the social platform, this story is not familiar. On most occasions, those who use this quote on social media use it as a meme. Most of us are not aware that this is one of John Mulaney’s quotes that will make your day. He explains that he was driving in the same car with his dad and requested the father to head to McDonald’s. They then started shouting the name “McDonald’s.”

8. “You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.”

Mulaney makes this quote during The Comeback Kid show. He tries to explain how he would disclose to his dad and make him understand that he was on the side of the Democrats and not Republicans. Therefore, Mulaney would vote for Bill Clinton in the General Elections. After Mulaney discloses this to his dad, he responds by comparing his moral backbone to a chocolate éclair.

9. “Now, I was raised catholic.”

Mulaney uses this quote to explain the experience of being brought up a Catholic. He explains this experience in a hilarious way that people from all religions can easily understand.

These quotes by John Mulaney are very integral and will make your day.