Letterkenny Quotes

Have you ever wondered how it feels like to live in a rural Canadian community? If yes, then Letterkenny paints a hilarious picture of the life of living in a small town. While you might be forced to learn some new phrases, you don’t have to be sorry since I have got you covered with these Letterkenny quotes.

 

There is no doubt that Letterkenny is an incredible example of true Canadian humor and it has been made more evident in some of their funniest quotes that will make you laugh. In this article, I shall be taking you through some of the best and funny Letterkenny quotes.

Best Letterkenny Quotes

• Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.

 

• You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you are just gonna have to keep picking them off with a 22.

 

• Tim’s McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s our whole world right there.

 

• …I’m not fat to run.

 

• Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s?

 

• You knew your pal has come into money when he started throwing out perfectly goof pistachios like he was above cracking them open with a box cutter like the rest of us.

 

• If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.

 

• Seeing as this most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There is happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.

 

• Hard no

 

• And I suggest you let that one marinate

 

• Where’s the sacrifice?

 

• Figure it out!

 

• Let’s go easy over there, squirrelly Dan.

 

• Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er.

 

• We need backup, boys.

 

• Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?

 

• That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.

 

• You are made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?

 

• Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.

 

• Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the f*ck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ‘em.

 

• Well, there is nothing better than a fart. Except for kids failing off bikes, maybe. F*ck I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a f*ck about your kids.

 

• If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I would be The Fat in the hat.

 

• We only got one shot at this. One Chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.

 

• Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!

 

• You are pretty good at wrestling there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you.

 

• Oh, I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the f*cking windshield.

 

• I wish you weren’t so f*cking awkward, bud.

 

• What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.

 

• Closest you are getting to any action this weekend is giving the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbing.

 

• Buddy you couldn’t wheel a f*cking tire down a hill.

 

• I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did you get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.

 

• Eyes on your own work there, super chief!

 

• Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it I regret nothing! I regret Nothing!

 

• Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you.

 

• I would say give yer B**s a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing that for you.

 

• You are f****** ten-ply, bud.

 

• I wish all were not so strange in the world.

 

• F*ck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on.

 

• Naw he’ll have one in his purse. Or maybe his clutch.

 

• Hey girl. Are you Barta Beef? Cause I’d flip you once every minute.

 

• I heard he f*cked an ostrich… allegedly… it would take two guys to f*ck an ostrich… allegedly.

 

• Let’s have illegal immigrants hunt down the s*x offenders for a chance at citizenship. We will call it aliens vs predators.

 

• Oh yeah? What’s gonna happen, Shoresy? Three things; I hit you, you hit the pavement and I jerk off on your driver’s side door handle.

 

• Hey barts! Did little Natisha take your last Halloween Oreo? You didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to that delicious orange frosting?

 

• F*ck you, Jonesy, tell your mom I drained the bank account she set up for me. Top it up so I can get some f*cking KFC.

 

• F*ck you, Jonesy, tell your mom to leave me alone, she’s been laying on my waterbed since Labor day.

 

• You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.

 

• You see a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? F*ck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.

 

• F*ck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.

 

• You ever hoover schneef off a sleeping cow’s spine?” “I’ve hoovered schneef off an awake cow’s teet.

 

• You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.

 

• F*ck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses

 

• It’s Pertnear Time to Tune into Letterkenny, So Be Sure to Set Yer Dials.

 

• You Were a Sniper in That Game Today and… Do You See That Sniper at 3 O’clock?

 

• Do you know what, I don’t want you to kiss and tell, that’s impolite…? but I am kind of curious.

 

• Your dad says guys with big trucks have little dinks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little dink.

 

• I am willing to give 69% of my company to a partner, why 69%? Both sides benefit! Good Enough!

 

• His Girlfriend was going Out of town so she tooted the horn one more time before she left.

Which of Letterkenny Quotes is your favorite? Let us know down in the comments!